I Watch the Worst TV Ever

photo @ Wish I Didn’t Know

It’s true, I do. First of all, I must tell you that we have lots of discord in our family in terms of television. Everyone makes fun of each other for their choices in bad TV shows. I just went full-fledged with it and now purposely watch TV shows that I am aware are awful. My sister, Bonnie, watches a glut of the monotonous primetime TV shows that all blend together, and then tries to tell us “No, this show is different and REALLY good”. Then, she’ll soon get over them and realize why we took the high road and hated them all along. Lindsey and her husband (my brother) don’t really watch scripted shows (except if ‘haunted’ or some variation of the word is in the name). They stick to classics such as ‘Billy the Exterminator’ and ‘A Haunting’ and can’t understand why no one else wants to watch these shows when we visit their house. My other brother sticks to the learning channels and odd shows that I won’t delve into. The worst offender though, is Bonnie’s husband. It’s as if he seeks out the worst movies and TV shows and says “Why, yes, I have three hours to waste on a movie that only received horrendous reviews. I bet it’s actually really good”. If you think I’m exaggerating, think again. He paid to see ‘Hellboy 3’ in the theaters after reading awful reviews of it, because he sincerely thought it could be good. Obviously, he went to this alone. He also watches Lifetime with me and the Hallmark Movie Channel with my mom. These are the television connoisseurs I come from. Why am I telling you this? Boredom, partly, but also partly because I think it’s starting to get to me.

I usually stick to LMN for its riveting plot twists out of left field and wide scope of topics ranging from husbands out to get you to best friends out to get you. I love these movies in a Mystery Science Theater 3000 kind of way. I think they’re starting to wear me down in many ways, though. Firstly, I think they’re making me more suspicious of everyone and everything (that may be partly to blame on ‘I Survived‘ as well, though). I get unfounded paranoias about people driving behind me more than two miles, noises at night, overly-friendly people, and don’t even get me started about people I pass when walking alone on the street at night. I think everyone on the street is in cahoots just waiting for the green light from their boss to grab me. I just get way too many scenarios flowing through my head that somehow involve me being a pawn or a victim. Basically, it’s never good.

I’m also having crazy dreams. I can’t believe I’m admitting this on the internet, but I am. I am having crazy, terrifying dreams which make me utterly relieved just to wake up in the morning. I don’t want to go into details, but they usually involve a child…….that I am a parent of and some disastrous situation I have to save them from/disastrous situation that we have to try to live in. I’m not only scared while I sleep, I’m also freaked out half way through the next day when I realize that I’m dreaming about these nonsensical situations, because they are so etched into my mind. Look at how much you’ve impacted me, Lifetime.

Thirdly, I’m becoming desensitized to bad entertainment. No, I don’t mean, bad as in dirty or foul. I mean bad as in poor quality. When you watch bad TV, even just to laugh at it, you eventually become used to it and it becomes normal to you. I realized my standard of entertainment had dropped from great/good to it will do when I tried to stay awake to watch an infomercial. That’s right, an infomercial. Thank the Lord I was tired and skipped the majority of it, but My Pillow is still enticing to me. After that night, I felt the need to watch Sense and Sensibility and The Patriot, and begin where I left off on A Tale of Two Cities, page 23. It was also my wakeup call that I need stop watching bad TV or at least lessen it so I can get a grip on good and bad entertainment again.

Luckily,  the other day we decided that we should get rid of our satellite service, though. It was for unrelated reasons, but I’m even happier about it now. It will save me time, money and nightmares. Until there are more five or more good shows that make paying for television worth it, I think I’ll have to go the route of watching movies and a scant amount of decent current TV shows on the internet. If good television prevails once again on the airwaves, I’ll be back. Creators of ‘Newsradio’: your move now.

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