I have a cat. Most people love their pets and find everything they do to be adorable. That’s not me. She’s annoying. When she walks up to me I’m not thinking “Oh, hello kitty!” It’s more along the lines of “Oh dear God, what you do you want now?” I’ve wondered why I find my pet so bothersome while everyone else is fawning over theirs to the point where they’re treated as children. And I think I’ve pinpointed the reasons.
1.) She will only drink out a cup/sink/toilet.
When I first got her, I thought something was wrong with her, because she wouldn’t drink any of the water I put out. I slowly realized that she was drinking water, just out of my cups. After being grossed out, afraid to leave any cups unattended and attempting to train her to drink out a bowl, I just gave up and now let her have her own cup. It can’t be on the ground though, or she won’t drink it. Otherwise, I find her in the kitchen sink or on my toilet looking for water. So, a cup of water must sit on my dresser or night stand at all times.
2.) She drinks water with her paws.
I had never heard of a cat doing this before. She doesn’t lap water like every other pet. No, she sticks her dirty paw in the water and then licks it. I had no idea what was going on when she first stuck her paw in a cup and licked it. Taking a bath? Tasting it? What the heck? Not only is this odd, she gets it everywhere, too. Many important papers were harmed, but at least I can always tell when she’s been drinking out of my cup.
3.) She meows all the time about everything.
At first I thought it was cute having such a talkative cat. Now, it’s just annoying. She meows for food. She meows to play. She meows for me to pet her. She meows to have her litter box cleaned. She meows when she’s chasing birds and flies. She meows when she runs by you. She’s ALWAYS meowing. And the thing is, I’ve gotten to know her so well that I can tell the differences between her meows, which scares me. I don’t think I should be able to understand when a cat is whining for more food or wanting me to pet her.
4.) She ALWAYS wants food.
I picked her up from the pound, because I couldn’t resist how cute she was. All of the cats were cute, but when I held this one, she meowed when I put her down, not wanting me to let her go, so I had to get her. She was rail-thin and wouldn’t eat, because she had just been spayed. Now, 6 months later, she’s a cow. I try to feed her less, but that just results in more meowing. And, she has the audacity to be picky. If it’s not wet food, she doesn’t want it. And, I don’t have the kind of money to spend on the best cat food, simply because fatty wants it. So, I only put out either wet or dry food now and she doesn’t get any more until that’s gone. She’s obviously unhappy about this, so she runs to the pantry every time I open it. She also just sits in front of it looking at the door then at me, meowing to get my attention. So, I have to yell like Cartman, “No, kitty!”
5.) She always follows me, but never too close.
My cat always wants to be around me. In fact, I’m never alone in my house. The thing is, she’s always there, but never too close. She wants to be in the same room, but not near me. So, it’s like I’m being stalked by someone I can see, who is always at least an arm’s length away. And when I try to walk up to her, she runs.
6.) She always walks and runs in front of me.
My stalker always runs out of the room in front of me when she sees me heading for the door. Then, she’ll stop in the hallway to see which way I’m going next, so she can get there before me. I don’t know why, maybe to get the perfect perch to stare at me from afar. She’s not so cunning though, and her maneuvering isn’t always so precise, either. I can’t tell you how many times she’s lost her footing and collided into me, or misjudged where I was going and walked into me making her meow angrily at me. I can’t walk around my house without fear of a little creature bolting in front of me or clumsily plowing into me.
7.) She steals my hair ties.
A good thing about my cat is that she doesn’t like cat toys from the store, which saves me some money. I’ve discovered what she does like are my hair ties. So, I buy her her own packs. She loses them all so quickly, though. She’s an indoor cat, so I don’t know where they could possibly go. Once she runs out of them, quickly, she goes after mine because she knows where they are. She hops on my bathroom sink, opens the mirror and steals a hair tie to kill. The thing is that once she gets a hair tie, it’s hers, because she will drag it on dirty floors, bite it all over and drop it in the toilet. So, I go through packs of hair ties in a few weeks, and I still have no idea where they are and she tries to steal any one that I put down. When I shower, I have to hide my hair ties (and I can’t put them in the cabinet) or it will be gone and never seen again by the time I get out.
8.) She wakes me up.
Because she’s always wants food, she wakes me on her schedule. I used to get up and feed her, but this just made her more adamant. She learned this and now tries to wake me up and make it look like she just wants to cuddle or she accidentally jumped on the bed. She’s definitely smart, just a jerk.
9.) She ruins my plants.
Being an indoor cat, I wanted her to have a little bit of the outdoors, so I bought her a few plants, about $75 worth. I thought she would use them to hide behind to pounce on flies and my hair ties, but she just pees on them. She has killed them all. I literally watched $75 get peed on. And now she’s upset that all the plants are dead and meows at me to convey that she wants more.
10.) I can’t close any doors in my house.
If I do, she immediately comes scratching at the door. Most of the time, she doesn’t even want to come in. She will just scratch at the door, I will eventually open it and then she will just stare and possibly meow for food. If I cave and walk out, she’s going to bolt in front of me stopping along the way to make sure I’m heading to the pantry.
She’s a difficult animal that’s even more difficult to understand. She’s a rude, loud, thieving, picky glutton and she’s all mine.